Account people are empty suits.
A monkey could have sold that work.
All he knows how to do is select "forward" on his email (when passing along client comments).
Come on, there's no such thing as a deadline and you know it.
Can you go back to the client and get more money?
Hack.
How does five logos sell the product any better?
I will not change the kerning.
I can do your job; you could never do mine.
I don't give a crap what your opinion is of my work.
I can't think of one time when the account person made one positive difference in the work or on the account.
I guess you just interview well.
I'm not changing it, I don't care what they said.
I could do your job but you could never do mine.
I'll tell you what Alex Bogusky would do.
I'll do it the way your damn client wants it, but I'm doing another version for my book.
Jell-O shots at 3 in the art room!
Just carry the work and don't lose it.
No, I didn't read the damn brief. I didn't have to.
No, I didn't look at the data. I'm estimating from my gut.
So, how does it feel to be an order taker?
So, I guess the client made you do that.
The client wouldn't know a good ad if it bit her in the ass.
This brief is anything but brief.
The only time I need an account person is when the lunch bill comes.
This is not a democracy. What I say goes. Period.
You think too much like a client.
You work for us, not for the client.
You couldn't get new business if you were a hooker on a battleship.
You need to get this out tonight, but I have to leave now.
Well, that's not gonna happen.
We don't have anything yet. Can you buy us another week?
Why did you sit on the information for two weeks?
What time do I need to be at the airport for a 9:00 flight?
What do you mean, "the client asked me off the business?"
Why didn't you push back?
Would you like some fries with that?
Yeah, we don't do that kind of stuff. We're a creative agency.
You could never get away with this at Crispin.
You must have worked in a large agency where nobody gave a crap about anything.
Your brief has five main ideas here. Pick one.

A creative person doesn't know the difference between a nickel and a 5 dollar bill.
A college student can build me a Web site for a hundred bucks.
All you people are good for is taking the client to lunch.
Can we please just give him what he wants?
Child rearing is great training for dealing with creatives.
Can you fill in the white space?
Can we put this in bold and underline it?
Can I see the work earlier than 2 minutes before the meeting?
Can you just womp out a few headlines before the meeting?
Can't you just _____________?
Can't you jazz it up with a starburst or something?
Come on, it's just a banner ad.
Do me a favor. Don't bring him/her to another meeting.
Do you have enough to do while I go to lunch?
He's just a wrist.
Honestly, sending over your best work won't be as effective as sending over hookers and blow.
Humor doesn't sell. Period.
I want to see more magnolia in the flesh tones.
I know I said "ground-breaking" but I can't show them something they've never seen before.
I need five concepts by Monday.
I can't sell this crap.
I am the target so I should know.
I wish you creatives could think strategically.
I don't know what I want, but I'll know it when I see it.
I've scheduled a meeting to go over the client changes.
I'll present this but I'll need a backup.
Is that all you got? What else you got?
If it weren't for the economy, I wouldn't ask you to do this.
If I were a client, I wouldn't pay 50 cents for that campaign.
If I'd wanted illustration I would have said so in the brief.
Just get her to jiffy something up.
Just strap on that monkey mask and get 'er done.
Let's grab a thesaurus and write this together.
Something smells in here. Oh, it's your work!
That's a good second generation idea.
The client will never approve that idea.
The only headline the client will approve is.......
The client doesn't like green.
The client doesn't like Bodoni.
The client wants you to tighten up the kerning.
The client loved everything about the ad except the concept.
The client wants the logo bigger.
The client thinks you're stupid for doing what you did.
The clients thinks you should want to do this for free for your portfolio.
The client likes all three ideas and would like to blend them into one.
The client showed this to his wife and she didn't get it.
The client will never approve that.
The client wants _______________.
The client's wife would like to see a __________ in the ad.
The creative team isn't working hard enough
The client will only buy conservative work.
They can't afford photography. It'll have to be royalty-free stock.
They're gonna run it by the marketing committee.
They loved it but they just want one more option.
They didn't get it.
They just want something simple and quick.
They bought the idea but want the headline from the other campaign.
They're sending over what they have. Can you just make it pretty?
This project is totally yours. Whatever happens is totally your responsibility.
This copy was just a quick draft, right? Not the final?
We need something that'll go viral.
We're trying to sell ___________, not white space.
Why don't you wrist this up?
You have to pick your battles.